Celebrate National Cheesecake Day with the Girls in Miami

For those of us who can't get enough of the Golden Girls -- including enjoying on Hulu, where they will soon be joined by their sisters, the Designing Women -- tomorrow (Tuesday, July 30) is your chance to celebrate in Miami, where ABC Studios and PopSugar are marking National Cheesecake Day with a Golden Girls pop-up event at Vicky's House restaurant in Coconut Grove.

Check out the special, limited-edition cheesecake milkshake, and snap up something from the ever-growing line of official, licensed Golden Girls merchandise (see photos below).  And of course, to get your copy of Golden Girls Forever, my book which spurred the studio to create official merch, check it out here.

ABC's press release below.  I can't be in Miami tomorrow, but have a cheesecake milkshake for me!

In honor of the ladies who define the term “Squad Goals,” ABC Studios and PopSugar are celebrating national Golden Girls Day and National Cheesecake Day with an exclusive one-day-only “The Golden Girls” pop-up event at Vicky’s House in Coconut Grove, Florida, on Tuesday, July 30, from 12:00 – 10:00 p.m.

  Fans and their friends are invited to stop by for a limited edition cheesecake milkshake inspired by “The Golden Girls,” pose for themed photo ops – including a scenic recreation of the ladies’ iconic lanai – and shop ‘til they drop on new and unique branded merchandise at the retail pop-up store!

  The pop-up store will offer fans the opportunity to purchase “The Golden Girls”-themed merchandise. Among the unique merchandise are books, party supplies, pins, dolls, tees, car sunshade, shower curtain and poster. All items can be purchased at https://www.toynk.com/collections/golden-girls.

THURSDAY, JULY 30

Location:                                Vicky’s House

                                                3190 Commodore Plaza

                                                Coconut Grove, FL 33133

Maurice Made "Golden" Magic

Recently, I learned of the passing of makeup artist and inventor, Maurice Stein.  I had the pleasure of interviewing Maurice in 2006, inside Cinema Secrets, the Toluca Lake, California store which sells not just cinema-quality makeup, but also many of his ingenious innovations.

Talking with Maurice was one of the most memorable experiences I had in researching Golden Girls Forever -- and that's really saying something, because I also got to sit for a day each with Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan and Betty White!  But for one thing, makeup artists are often privy to the most intimate details of stars' personal lives, spending so much time with them each day.  And Maurice's memories of the groundbreaking show, and his storytelling skills, were both superb. 

But the most interesting thing I learned that day was about how, out of Golden Girls necessity, Maurice ended up inventing a brand new cinema technique that is still used to this day.  Below, a featurette that didn't make it into Golden Girls Forever, due to space constraints.  (Hopefully it will someday, in some kind of expanded edition.)  I think it's a proper tribute to a funny, warm guy whom I had the pleasure of meeting, and who helped bring the world laughter via Sophia Petrillo.

As The Golden Girls progressed, the series’ hair and makeup crew would be tasked with some very specific challenges, such as turning Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur into a convincing Sonny and Cher. But by then, such sartorial switchups were old hat for costume designer Judy Evans, hair stylist Joyce Melton and makeup artist Maurice Stein.  After all, they’d already been convincingly transforming Estelle – actually a tiny bit younger than her co-stars Betty and Bea – into an old lady for years. 

For the earliest episodes in season one, Estelle's hair was merely sprayed gray, as the actress herself had done to perform her shtick for producer after producer during her many auditions.  But very soon, as it became clear that The Golden Girls would be an enduring hit, it also became obvious that some things had to change.

And so, not far into the first season, the show's producers commissioned Sophia's trademark -- and expensive -- curly white human-hair wig.  But the larger problem was, the prevailing old-age makeup technique at the time, a process called “stretch and stipple,” took over four hours to apply, and as Maurice remembers Estelle saying, “an hour and a half, and a couple of vodkas, to take off.”  Each week, that added up to five or six hours of expensive production time – and an extra headache for an already nervous Estelle.

And so, Golden Girls producer Marsha Posner Williams had made a call to Maurice, luring him out of his early retirement; as luck would have it, Maurice had spent his newfound spare time inventing a new waterproof, oil-free foundation.  Now, instead of putting his star through the time-consuming application, blow-drying and powdering of layers and layers of latex, Maurice was able to cover Estelle’s face with several strata of the fast-drying foundation, and followed by accentuating her natural wrinkles with a makeup pencil (and, after Estelle’s facelift between seasons one and two, creating those lines anew.)

Today, Maurice still sells his Cinema Secrets Ultimate Foundation to the public; and because it's one of the only products medically approved to cover radiation burns, he donates his time and product to kids in burn units and to women with cancer.  As Maurice jokes, his products “aren't tested on animals…but on actors.”  So really, he adds, in the end, it was partly Estelle's ambition to play Sophia that has resulted not only in an innovative new product, but also in charitable work that has benefitted people around the world.

Jim Colucci, Golden Girls Forever, copyright 2016 HarperCollins Inc. 

Happy Galentine's Day!

Just a reminder for tonight, as you snuggle with your partner or sit in front of the TV with a new box of bon bons (no judgments here!):  As of yesterday, all 180 half-hours of The Golden Girls became available for streaming on Hulu.

Yes, it's a fun ritual to tune in at 11 PM to see which episodes Hallmark is featuring for the night.  But now, for the first time, you can stream at any time any episode you want.  Like Rose, jonesing for a pain pill, or Dorothy, making surreptitious calls to her bookie, you can find on Hulu the fix you're craving.  Again, no judgments!

Happy Gal-entine's Day!

Happy Anniversary, Golden Girls!

Bea Arthur, Estelle Getty, Betty White and Rue McClanahan
in the Girls' kitchen -- which had been recycled from a failed
ABC sitcom a year earlier, Richard Crenna and Patty Duke's
It Takes Two.  Problem is, as newly reconfigured, it had no
oven. 

It was thirty-one years ago tonight, on September 14, 1985, that four older ladies called "The Golden Girls" first came into our living rooms.

If you were like me, a teenager in the pre-Internet era who diligently followed all buzz about the new fall season as doled out in the entertainment press, you knew this new show was going to be something special.  After all, it hailed from Susan Harris, the brilliant creator of Soap, and starred TV icons Bea Arthur, Betty White and Rue McClanahan.  And yet, the buzz also said, this newcomer Estelle Getty just might steal the show.

As I've said many times in promoting my book Golden Girls Forever, The Golden Girls was just as unlikely a network product back then as it would be now -- in fact, maybe even more so.  After all, advertisers were then, too, chasing a younger age demographic -- and why, conventional wisdom would say, would those young viewers want to watch four old ladies in Miami?

Before even Susan Harris' involvement, it had been the foresight of NBC head Brandon Tartikoff that had brought these Girls to life (even if the network honchos were afraid, deferring to political correctness, of calling these four ladies "Girls" until Susan Harris reassured them).  Tartikoff had been gestating the idea for a while, having watched the movie How to Marry a Millionaire with his nieces, and having observed the interplay among his crotchety elder relatives in Florida.  So when, at an otherwise boring NBC fall preview event, Night Court's Selma Diamond and Remington Steele's Doris Roberts enlivened the proceedings with their scripted shtik mistaking the title of network's big hope Miami Vice for "Miami Nice," Tartikoff realized the idea was worth pursuing.

It's only through the miracles of great writing and great casting that the fleshed-out concept made it not just to the national airwaves, but into the pop culture pantheon, celebrated as it is more than three decades later.  At 63, Betty White was the eldest of the four women (older by only four months than Bea Arthur, though); today at 94 she's still a national treasure and inspiration.

And so I was honored to get the chance to sit with Betty, as well as Bea and Rue, in their living rooms, and hear their stories about their experiences on the show firsthand.  In all, over 250 guest stars, writers, producers and crew members were happy to share their memories -- and in some cases, rare artifacts -- with me for the book, eager to ensure that such a rare show should enjoy the legacy it deserves.  So to Susan Harris, to Betty, and to the three other Golden ladies we've lost but will never forget, I'd like to take the occasion of this 31st anniversary again to say thank you for the years and years of not just laughs but thought-provoking takes on issues that still concern us.  And above all else, of course, Thank You For Being a Friend!

A Still-Golden Anniversary: 20 Years Since Debut of Failed Spinoff Golden Palace

For seven seasons, The Golden Girls brought groundbreaking comedy to the small screen, and made icons of its four leading ladies.  Then in 1992, three of the Girls packed up the house on Miami’s Richmond Street, and moved to the beach – and to CBS.

The Cast of Golden Palace (1992-93).
  Back:  Cheech Marin as chef Chuy Castillos;
Don Cheadle as desk clerk Roland Wilson;
Billy L. Sullivan as Oliver Webb;
Front:  Rue McClanahan, Betty White, Estelle Getty

With schoolteacher Dorothy Zbornak now married and living in Atlanta – after actress Bea Arthur had opted out of The Golden Girls, thus ending the series – her roommates Blanche and Rose moved to Golden Palace, making the odd, life-changing decision to invest their savings in the show’s titular hotel.  Stranger still, Dorothy had even left her by now nearly nonagenarian mother Sophia behind; soon, after some financial miscalculations, the three women found themselves putting in backbreaking hours of cooking and cleaning as the Art Deco District’s most unlikely hoteliers.

Producer Tony Thomas remembers the decision to take the three remaining Girls in such a new direction.  “You don’t replace Bea – it would have been ridiculous to have someone try,” he explains.  Thomas says that he and fellow producers, Golden Girls creator Susan Harris and her husband Paul Witt, “have always liked the idea of doing a show about life in a hotel.  There’s something appealing about a core cast in such a transient setting.”

“We wanted to show these woman as still vital and active,” Witt adds.  “So taking over a small hotel would put them in contact on a regular basis with interesting people, and keep them active as they learned to do something different.  We couldn’t do ‘Golden Girls Redux’ or ‘Golden Girls Continued.’  We had to make it different and hopefully comfortable.”

The Old College Try

The cast of Golden Palace boasted not only three sitcom heavyweights in Betty White, Rue McClanahan and Estelle Getty, but also comedy legend Cheech Marin, and future House of Lies star Don Cheadle as the hotel’s desk clerk, Roland Wilson.  And like the Girls before it, Palace also boasted some of today’s hottest comedy writing talents among its staff. 

But writer Mitchell Hurwitz, who would later create CBS’ sitcom The Ellen Show before finding fame with Arrested Development, remembers his colleagues’ unease with the Palace premise from the start.  “People really related to The Golden Girls.  The husband leaves, which was something a lot of women had gone through in that generation,” he notes.  But with Golden Palace, “now we were asking the audience to relate to having to run and manage a hotel, and clean the rooms yourself.  It was an interesting premise, which created a lot of opportunities for comedy, but it wasn’t what people came to The Golden Girls for.”

In the 2006 interview I conducted, via the Archive of American Television, with McClanahan, who died in 2010, she also remembered the difficulties in transferring her character Blanche to the new seaside setting.  “We gave it the good old college try, but [Golden Palace] wasn’t the right thing to do.  It took the center out of the characters as they had been established – particularly Blanche.  She had to become a businesswoman, and run a hotel.  How did she learn how to do that?  Where did that come from?  It required more out of the Blanche character than ever before, and I found it very hard to find the way to play it.”  Presenting the Girls without their popular fourth friend Dorothy, McClanahan recalled, “really was like walking without one shoe.”

AfterG*I*R*L*S

Premiering on September 18, 1992 as part of CBS’ new two-hour comedy block, Golden Palace won its 8 PM time slot for its first few weeks.  But soon, the entire night began to sink in the ratings.  For every rare case like Frasier, which would premiere the next fall and would last eleven seasons, there is an AfterM*A*S*H, or a Joey.  And Golden Palace would soon prove to belong to the latter category of sequel series.

“Golden Palace was ill-conceived from the start,” says another former writer, Marc Cherry, who went on to create CBS’ sitcoms The Five Mrs. Buchanans and Some of My Best Friends before his iconic Desperate Housewives (and now, Lifetime's eagerly anticipated new series Devious Maids.)  “Old ladies just don’t go around buying hotels.”

Still, Cherry says, “Golden Palace is no [tacky ‘80s syndicated sitcom] Small Wonder.  There are moments of the show that are actually quite good.”  One particularly touching episode, he agrees, featured Ned Beatty as Blanche’s heretofore unmentioned, mentally challenged brother.  In another, lifelong animal activist Betty White was able to highlight the sad plight of greyhounds discarded by Florida racetracks.  In a two-part episode, Arthur’s Dorothy returned to visit her old friends in their new setting, bringing with her an hour’s worth of that old Golden magic.  And throughout its 24-episode run, Golden Palace sported cameos from the biggest stars of yesteryear, like George Burns, Eddie Albert, Tim Conway and Harvey Korman, and gave early breaks not just to Cheadle, but other future comedy stars like Jack Black, Margaret Cho and Bill Engvall.

“With a little more time, I think we could have gotten [Golden Palace] to be very good – but we didn’t get there,” Witt remembers.  In the spring of 1993, Palace was cancelled after its freshman season,  along with the entire Friday comedy block.

Although Cherry says that he worried at the time that the sub-par Golden Palace would end up tarnishing the memory of its parent series, many fans have come to see the show as the Girls’ de facto eighth season.  Unlike Girls, Palace is not available on DVD – but it caused a sensation in the mid 2000’s when Lifetime briefly tacked its episodes onto the end of its regular Golden Girls run.

Marin, who went on to star in CBS’ shows Nash Bridges and Rob, remembers an additional Palace legacy.  Conscious of Miami as a rich ethnic and racial melting pot, the show’s producers had hired the Mexican-American actor to play the hotel’s Cuban chef Chuy Castillos; Marin says he used to refer to himself and Cheadle, surrounded by older white ladies, as “the Afro-Cuban section of the Lawrence Welk band.”

Marin says his greatest memory of Golden Palace was working with co-star Getty – but not in any moment that showed up on screen.  “She taught me to make a great matzoh ball, and boy, it just makes them nice and fluffy,” the 66-year-old actor remembers.  “I make great matzoh ball soup to this day, for which I’m eternally grateful – as are my children.”

RIP Rue McClanahan 1934-2010

This is too much. For those of us raised on TV in the '80s, it seems like our small screens are collapsing in on us. First in the past 2 years, we lose Golden Girls Estelle Getty and Bea Arthur. Then, a few months back, a shock when Designing Women's Dixie Carter passed away. Last week, there was Diff'rent Strokes' Gary Coleman, at only age 42. And today, I was so sad to hear about the passing of the beloved Rue McClanahan.

Back in 2006, I had the honor of interviewing Rue, Bea and Betty White in their respective homes, as I did research for my book The Q Guide to The Golden Girls. None of the ladies disappointed -- they were all as fun and vibrant as you'd ever hope -- and the days I spent with them have become fodder for some stories I've even told on stage as of late.

My interviews with Bea and Betty were audio only -- but with Rue, I lucked out, and was able to combine forces with the Archive of American Television. The result is an hours-long, up-close-and-personal portrait of the lady, covering everything from birth through her late career (off camera, Rue hinted that she was talking about doing a new series, which ended up being Del Shores' wonderful Sordid Lives.)

Here's the link to Part 1 of Rue's interview. I just rewatched it, and was struck all over again how charming and funny she was. We'll always love you, Rue!

Estelle Getty: In the Words of Her Friends

As I found out in researching The Q Guide to The Golden Girls, Estelle Getty was universally beloved on that sitcom's set. And so, I thought it would be fitting to comb through my files and put together a tribute from her former friends, co-workers and peers; here, in their own words, are some memories of Estelle, from those who knew and loved her best.

Estelle used to tell a story about the 1970s, when I had a theater production office in the old Victoria Theater building in New York, and she was a secretary on Long Island. I used to have all these open casting calls, and Estelle would come to every one of them, on her lunch hour. She sure did pound the pavement, being a very determined lady. It wasn’t that she didn’t work, but she wasn’t in the big time until Harvey Fierstein came up with that character for her in Torch Song Trilogy which both broke your heart and made you laugh your ass off. And I couldn’t have been happier for Estelle. I’m so glad that she found her glory in her own time.

- John Bowab, a TV director (though not of The Golden Girls) and friend of Estelle’s

[When The Golden Girls was casting], we had quite a few shows on the air, and were covering many responsibilities. So one day, I was handling casting because Paul [Witt] and [Golden Girls creator] Susan [Harris] were busy. Estelle walked through the door, and it was frightening. You don’t expect to hear the dialogue jump off the page that way, but I realized oh my God, this is everything we wanted. Obviously I wanted Estelle in for a callback, but when she was due to come in, I couldn’t be there. I told Jay Sandrich, Paul and Susan, “If you don’t like her, have her do it again. Trust me – don’t let her out of the room until you’re satisfied, because she’s the one!”

- Tony Thomas, producer

On The Golden Girls, we had an amazing casting director who’s no longer with us, Judith Weiner. And the very first person she brought in for the show was Estelle, who was playing Harvey Fierstein’s mother in Torch Song Trilogy here in L.A. And of course she was way too young for the part of Sophia Petrillo. But when we saw her, we knew we could put a wig on her, and she was just great. Judith insisted that we couldn’t just pick the first person we saw, and so we did see other women for that part, but [all along] we knew. It was Estelle’s first sitcom, but she knew just what to do, and I didn’t have to give her any more direction than the others. As a stage actor, she knew just how to get a laugh.

- Jay Sandrich, director of The Golden Girls pilot

I’m 5 foot 9 and a half inches in my stocking feet. And [we were just meeting each other for the first time when] this sweet little thing walked in. It ended up being that Estelle and I formed one of, I think, the great comic duos of all time. It was such an amazing mother/daughter relationship, with love and hate. It was one of those lucky things, a combination of brilliant writing, brilliant acting and brilliant direction.

- Bea Arthur, co-star

[When we started The Golden Girls], Estelle was the new kid on the block. And of course we all fell in love with her immediately. She was so perfect for Sophia. [As she became ill in later years], she missed so much, and it’s such a shame. Even in the beginning, she missed getting a lot of the attention because she was in her old lady makeup. So the other three of us would all get people coming up and saying, “I love your show!”, but they’d see Estelle and wouldn’t know that that was Sophia. But of course, the minute she opened her mouth they would.

- Betty White, co-star

[Although Estelle had auditioned from the beginning], Estelle and I were the last two added to the cast. And she was absolutely hilarious. We gravitated toward one another because we were the two lesser knowns. At first, she was very insecure, and was certain she was going to be fired. She said, “If it’s between you and me, Chuck, you’re obviously staying. I’m gone.” I didn’t have these worries, because rehearsals were going so well.

When we taped the pilot for The Golden Girls, all the other women, who are of course such pros, got their laughs. Especially Bea, because they played to her strength in doing her “slow burn,” a look that takes four or five seconds of silence and just builds in laughter. They were all on the money. But then when Estelle would come on, the audience wouldn’t know what to make of such a character, and so they fell in love with her. She’d open her mouth and bring down the house. She ended up sandbagging everybody. With absolutely perfect comic timing, the woman couldn’t miss, and everybody saw it. They weren’t saying, “Did you see what Estelle did,” but rather, “Oh my God, Estelle is stealing this show out from under three real comic pros.”

- Charles Levin, who played gay houseboy Coco in The Golden Girls pilot before his character was eliminated

When The Golden Girls first started, I complained that there were quite a few publicity photos that Estelle wasn’t in. And at first, I was told in no uncertain terms that Estelle was not a Golden Girl -- Estelle was a mother of a Golden Girl. Well, a couple of months later, the audience decided differently.

In the first year or two of the show, if you went to the studio, you would see Betty’s and Bea’s Mercedes, and I think Rue [had a fancy car]– and Estelle’s Toyota. She never thought of herself as a big star. Her friends would always tell her to get a new car, and finally she did. She rented an apartment in Hollywood for years and years, and still kept her place back home in Queens. She never became part of Hollywood in “that way,” which was adorable. She would say that because her success had come late in life, if it should all go away, she’d be fine. She was incredibly healthy, in not being swept up in it all. She always remained true to who she was – including her love of bargain shopping.

On many occasions, like when the Golden Girls got to meet the Queen [at a Command Performance], she was really somewhat in awe, because she always did think of herself as this girl from the Lower East Side – that feeling never left her. And she’d always say that she had the most wonderful job in the world, because whenever people saw her, all they wanted to do was come up and hug her. And how many people get to go through life like that?

- Juliet Green, Estelle's former manager

I did not know Estelle prior to appearing on The Golden Girls, but when I met her, I just instantly loved her. She was the cutest lady, and was really funny. She always pretended she couldn’t do something, and then Bea Arthur would say behind her back, “She can do that. You know she can do that.” She was a gutsy little lady.

- Betty Garrett, guest star

When you walk on to any set where people have been together for a long time, they all already have a certain closeness, and it can be intimidating. But I knew Estelle already from New York, and she welcomed me warmly. We would huddle a lot together off in the corner and joke, and worry about our lines. We called it “a panic in the corner.”

- Dena Dietrich, guest star (as Sophia's daughter Gloria)

Estelle was the first one of the Girls [my former writing partner] Jamie Wooten and I talked to. When I introduced her to Jamie, she said, “You’re well known for something?” And I said, “No, I think you are thinking of James Wooten who is a correspondent for ABC news.” She got this embarrassed look on her face. I realized she was just a sweet, grandmotherly lady, and I just fell in love with her. She was the first one I became close to.

The thing that was brilliant about Estelle was her sense with one-liners. When the audience knows the character is going to say something funny, you try to get through the entire punch line before they start clapping. Well Estelle would motor through those jokes. She would spit them out, and it was brilliant. You could teach a lesson in comedy diction with how Estelle would approach those one-liners. To this day, I think that, more than any of the other women, her one-liner delivery was magnificent.

- Marc Cherry, writer and later creator of Desperate Housewives

Estelle used to talk pretty openly about how she was paralyzed with stage fright. It was horrible for her. What should have been the most joyful experience for her could sometimes instead be just crippling. Of course, even when she was out of her body with fear and didn’t seem to know what she was saying, she would nail the joke. It was the weirdest, chemical thing.

In one episode, Julio Iglesias was making an appearance, where he was supposed to come in at the tag and serenade Sophia. But when he arrived he said he didn’t want to sing. I was concerned that [producers] Paul [Witt] and Tony [Thomas] would be upset because we hired Julio and he didn’t want to sing. But Estelle bailed me out. She said, “Honey, I’ll take care of it.” She was so compassionate for someone feeling apprehensive about doing something that she was able to take care of him in that moment. She took his arm, and instead sang to him – and that’s the way you see it in the episode.

- Nina Wass, producer

Estelle was just funny, Jewish New York funny. She kept saying jokingly, “Can’t we make these characters Jewish?” She would have felt so much more comfortable than trying to be Italian, although clearly it worked! I kept in touch with Estelle for as long as she could stay in touch, as long as she knew who I was. I got a huge kick out of her always. Estelle had been an off-off-off-off-Broadway girl while she was raising a family, and she told very funny stories about New York.

- Rue McClanahan, co-star

If you are an actress in this business you learn to appreciate the gay guys. [As a gay male writing team], we didn’t lie, we just didn’t bring up that aspect of our lives. But Estelle recognized us immediately. She came up to us and asked, “Are you guys gay?” We said, “How did you know?!” She told us, “You are coming out to dinner, you are going to have fun with me, and I will introduce you to a lot of people.” And so we became very close. She was such a sweetheart, and we admired her because from early on she was an AIDS fundraiser.

- Stan Zimmerman and James Berg, writers and creators of Lifetime's upcoming sitcom Rita Rocks

Estelle was an incredibly funny lady. And the best thing was, she taught me to make great matzoh ball, and I so now I make great matzoh ball soup to this day. She said, “You don’t pack it like a snowball -- you just very loosely drop it in.” And boy, it just makes them nice and fluffy. It’s advice for which I’m eternally grateful, as are my children.

- Cheech Marin, co-star on sequel series Golden Palace

Estelle Getty, 1923-2008

Last week, Estelle Getty, best known to millions of fans as Sophia Petrillo from the 1985-92 megahit The Golden Girls, passed away just three days short of her 85th birthday. Since then, I’ve received messages of condolences from friends, and from readers of my 2006 book, The Q Guide to The Golden Girls, who knew just how much I loved Estelle and the Girls.

Back in ’06, when I was researching the book, my one regret was that the project hadn’t crystallized in time for me to meet Estelle in person. By that time, Estelle was suffering the advanced effects of Lewy Body dementia, a diagnosis her son Carl Gettleman and caretaker Paul Chapdelaine clarified for me (earlier reports had publicized what then turned out to be a misdiagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease.)

I did get to sit down with Bea Arthur, with Betty White, and with Rue McClanahan – and those are memories that will last me for a lifetime. I blabbed with Bea over a bottle of white wine, saw Betty‘s sharp wit in action, and even got Rue to do Blanche for me, talking about her “many, many men.” But to do justice in the book to Estelle – that mystery woman who in 1985 had come seemingly out of nowhere not just to nab a plum part in an enduring classic sitcom, but to hold her own against three of TV’s veteran heavyweights – I was going to have to work at it.

And so, I met with Carl, and with Paul, with Estelle’s former assistant Richard Weaver, and with a few other longtime friends – many of them gay men – who helped flesh out a portrait of their beloved mother and friend. And I have to say, whereas I may have gone into this process adoring mostly Sophia, I emerged from my interviews with these men with a new appreciation for the woman who had lived so brilliantly beneath that white wig.

Estelle had toiled for years in, as Rue recalls, “off, off, off, off-Broadway productions” in New York, where she raised her family, including a second son, Barry. Only in the mid 1980s, when her portrayal of Harvey Fierstein’s character’s mother in Torch Song Trilogy brought her to national attention, did Estelle hit the big time. But the Big Time never changed this tiny lady. She remained always who she was: a bargain shopper, a soulful Jewish cook, a mother hen, and as the theme song goes, a pal and a confidante. From her days in theater, she had befriended many gay men. And when so many of those friends (and her own young nephew) started dying, Estelle didn’t worry about losing her new-found star power by backing a then-taboo cause; instead, she became one of Hollywood’s earliest and most tireless celebrity AIDS fundraisers, providing not just laughter but hope for so many.

Estelle was a lady who knew how to have a good time – Richard Weaver remembers days when this little, middle-aged lady would routinely hit the town in West Hollywood with a rotating posse she jokingly called her “five fag minimum.” In the late ‘90s, a volunteer theater group called Charity Parody put on spoofs of famous musicals to raise money for an AIDS hospice. As the troupe’s director Randy Brenner later told me, Estelle came to every single production; you could hear her laugh in the crowd.

From the very beginning of her time on The Golden Girls, Estelle was bedeviled by stage fright, and had trouble remembering her lines. A woman modest – perhaps too modest – about her talent, Estelle was very open about her fears. Now, looking back, her co-stars tell me they wonder whether Estelle’s memorization problems were just common stage fright, or were actually the beginning of the medical problem which ultimately took her life many, fading years later.

We’ll never know. But what we can clearly see, more than a decade after Estelle put down Sophia’s trademark straw purse for the very last time, is that this Golden Girl was a woman with the humanity to be scared, the humility to admit it -- and the talent to rise above it all. And so I’m writing today to share those thoughts, and my condolences, with so many other fans who will forever miss a woman who thankfully will live on in reruns and in our hearts.

For Estelle, from those millions who will miss you,

Thank You for Being a Friend.